i've always loved impromptu dates with fadzli.
but never when the both of us are mad with each other.
and by 'mad', not madly in love but madly angry at each other.
like any other couples, we had our own ups and downs when we argue with each other like we've never loved each other before.

and yesterday was one such incident.
but lucky for me, i've a boyfriend who rarely lets his emotions take over. because in my case, my emotions will always take over in times like this. and seriously, i will say things that will really bruise the other party emotionally & mentally real bad.

so i was forced to meet him. i didnt want to meet him at first, even though god knows how much i missed him at this point of time, but my ego took over my mind insisting that i dont wanna meet. haha.
but ouh wells, my heart said otherwise. =P

so we did. we had a lunch+dinner at jalan kayu.
initially we wanted to go over to yishun dam. but changed our minds and decided to go somewhere else with shelter, just in case it rains. which was a better choice because it did rain. haha.
so we sat, overlooking the expressway. romantic much?
and thats when the conversation began.

a to z was discussed. tears were shed. screaming ensued.
the root of the argument. what led to the argument. what i think and felt. what he think and felt. facebook issues (i know!). some of those damn girls on his FB (yes, i do not like some of them. can i name names?). & of course, trust.

truth be told, my trust level for him has decreased the moment he joined this sport. and to make matter worst, he has built a name for himself. & to make matters lagi worst, girls leftrightupdownbackcenter has been adding him up on FB. & to make matters lagi worst than lagi worst, he accepted their friend request because . i checked up on this girls using his FB account and when you look at some of these girls' friends list, their 200/300/400/500+ 'friends', 80% consist of his friends or other guys posing with their ride. yes, i check his FB account because i've got the password.

& he assured that those girls are nobody to him, no matter how much they throw themselves to him. my bf is not good-looking. its the truth and i told him that too. but having these girls throwing themselves at him is downright disgusting. disgusting not because my bf's look is not to die for but because these girls throw themselves at him for one obvious reason.

some may say that if i really love him, i wont doubt him. because its not as if he has cheated on me before or even lied to me during this 3yrs.
true.
but i also believe there's a first time for everything.
trust is not something i can give anyone fully. like what fadzli told me, he too dont expect me to trust him 100% because there's always a grey area where first times could happen.

i love you, baby.
i've always.

Labels: date, fadzli, heartfelt, love, the bf