this is an official announcement.

fadzli & i have broken up, officially on the 13th of december 2009. we had our differences & some things happened. what exactly, i dont think it would be nice for me to actually share in on this platform. =)

just got back from a team dinner with the whole bunch. =)

2 of my bosses shared something with us a few days ago, "for our dreams to work, we have to work for our dreams" & "our life should be like a river; always moving forward; & not like a reservoir."

i really thank god for actually fulfilling my prayers, as well as the prayers of my loved ones.
& i look at my break up with fadzli as a blessing in disguise.

yes, i was devastated by the break up.
yes, i was sad.
yes, i was hurt.
i would be lying if i say that i am not feeling any of the above.

& yes, irregardless of whatever that has happened, i still have feelings for him.
hey, i spent years with him. unlike him, it wont be easy for me to let my feeling go just like that.
especially when factually, i am an emotional person.
however, i know, eventually, one day, i will be able to say, "no. fadzli may have a place in my heart but i do not have feelings for him anymore."

that is why i thank god that i got this job at the very right timing.
being busy actually helped in pushing away the thoughts of him & our failed rship.

when i went for my first interview, fadzli & i were in the midst of arguing. somehow something useful fadzli taught me was what i put into practice; not to let my emotions take control over me.
& when i went for my 2nd interview/training, we were still in the midst of argument. & again, i practised what he told me.
i got accepted eventually & i went for the training cum induction on the 14th dec 2009.
on the 13th dec 2009, we officially broke up.

why did i say my breakup with fadzli was a blessing in disguise?
because if i were to still be with fadzli, i will not be able to accept this job. fadzli wanted me to have a deskbound job, office hours.
this job may be a 5.5 working day but its not a deskbound job. i get to go out to meet & interact with people.
something which i enjoy doing.
something which fadzli wont like me doing.

so i took the breakup as a blessing in disguise.
my new colleagues dont even know that i had broken up.
funny right when i went for my 1st training, i was attached.
but when i start working, i am no longer attached.
i didnt show any form of negative emotions at work.

& today when i get back from work, checked my FB,
i found out that fadzli had his rship status removed.
he has moved on. congratulations! =)

will we still continue being friends?
no, we wont.
in fact, its something fadzli told me from the beginning - he wouldnt want to continue being friends with me should we break up.
moreover, he already have a group of his friends. they are the ones who he loves cares about the most. they are the VIPs in his life. he doesnt need me in his life.

& with that, thank you fadzli.
for teaching me something very important & useful.
i really do hope that you are happier now.

& thank you my friends who has given me the words of encouragement after my break up with him. you know who you are!

for now, i want to work & make sure all my dreams which were not achievable due to him to work for me now. slowly but surely, one by one, my dreams will come true.
& i want to make sure my life will be flowing like a river - forward. not thinking back about what happened in the past. just looking & moving forward.

gdnite!

xoxo.

Labels: fadzli, love, rambling, random thoughts, relationship, work